“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive” ~ Sir Walter Scott.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Will the coastal sage scrub and burn?

uite "littorally", or would it bode a changing of the tide? The misspelling is purposeful and intentional, by the way ~ "littoral", an adjectival reference to a coastal region; the term "sage" for a scholar and "scrub", the slang usage of the verb, meaning to abandon or drop.

Coastal sage scrub, a scrub land plant community native to the chaparral ecoregion of California, is sometimes referred to as soft chaparral. The ground-hugging aromatic shrubs are able to survive with little available water. How this is possible, varies from one variety to another, but essentially it either involves the plant's ability to preserve moisture.

In some species, sclerophyls, leaves have either a waxy coating that holds moisture within the plant, or fine hairy spines that reflect sunlight and thus reduce natural evaporation. Others drop leaves during the very hot months. The sloughing of leaves, and the lack of moisture subject the ecoregion to the ravage of fire. Coastal scrub and chaparral burn intensely; the wax from leaves similar to throwing fat on a flame, and the detritus at the base of the low-lying plants serves as tinder. But, fire, as odd as it may seem, is not the greatest hazard to the region, and in fact serves an important role in the continued survival of the habitat.

The coastal sage ecoregion in the southern part of California represents the struggle between preservation and human development. While the land in this region is spied by man as a profitable growth area for high-ticket development, this particular ecosystem is relatively rare and the species endemic to the coastal scrub lands diverse. The unique nature of this coastal land and the individual organisms that called it their natural habitat, I suspect, is the reason my online friend, "Doug", chose this location for his summer empirical research project.

Tasks related to wrapping up my corporation were completed by the end of 2005. All that remained was to sell the equipment, and fielding enquiries could be handled by phone and email. Further, activity related to a sale unlikely to begin until the winter snows had melted, when prospects would have the opportunity to fire "her" up and take her for a test-drive. By the beginning of 2006 I found myself in a position where I would have some time on my hands, after nearly two years of nothing but stressful events, yet no specific thoughts on what my next career path would be.

I'd stumbled upon advertisement featured on several biology related job boards on the Internet, for which "Doug" would need 6 field assistants to accompany him to San Diego in mid-March 2006 for a three-month period. I believed that clearing the "cobwebs" of my brain was in order and doing something completely different, for a couple of months, and constructive would be ideal. I prepared to dust off my CV for submission. The ad called for a letter of intent, the curriculum vitae and a list of references.
It had been decades since I applied for a job. This was unlike all I'd ever considered and the $600.00 a month stipend (housing was included), albeit typical for such part-time field work, not the motivator, although, if truth be known it would be welcome, having most of my assets tied up at the time.

My letter was sincere and my various, yet honest, intentions clearly defined. I'd no specific familiarity with his project, but was anxious to learn, enthusiastic to work on something that could be of value to his goals, and would enjoy the chance to be involved in a team-related capacity and, of course, I would be keen to meet him and show him that I was a genuine and caring friend.

I printed the information off my computer, placed it in an envelope and dropped it in the mailbox well in advance of the January 15, 2006 deadline, checking his web page, beforehand, to make sure that positions were still open. Yes! He would continue to advertise vacancies for the field assistants until positions were filled in late February 2006.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

"The perils of indifference"

cience fiction has never been a favourite of mine. I'm not closed-minded to it, I just can't feel engaged enough to the story line to muddle through and I just might be one of the very few that was never drawn to any of the Star Wars blockbusters either. But every once in a while while fanning through the occasional book, I'll find a pithy statement that I find particularly significant and memorable, regardless of the subject matter. Such is the case with Joan Vinge's The Snow Queen and the quote, "Indifference is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it".

in·dif·fer·ent(adj)
Having no particular interest or concern; apathetic
Having no marked feeling for or against
Not mattering one way or the other
Characterized by a lack of partiality; unbiased
Not active or involved; neutral


I recall a poignant and powerful speech by Nobel Laureate, Elie Wiesel, before Clinton about 7 years ago. He was relating the impact of indifference that the holocaust victims and prisoners of war experienced, and some of the passages moved me then and bear repeating.

"... indifference can be tempting -- more than that, seductive. It is so much easier to look away from victims. It is so much easier to avoid such rude interruptions to our work, our dreams, our hopes. It is, after all, awkward, troublesome, to be involved in another person's pain and despair. Yet, for the person who is indifferent, his or her neighbor are of no consequence. And, therefore, their lives are meaningless. Their hidden or even visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the other to an abstraction.... behind the black gates of Auschwitz, the most tragic of all prisoners were the "Muselmanner," as they were called. Wrapped in their torn blankets, they would sit or lie on the ground, staring vacantly into space, unaware of who or where they were -- strangers to their surroundings. They no longer felt pain, hunger, thirst. They feared nothing. They felt nothing. They were dead and did not know it "

Wiesel went on to explain that indifference is even more dangerous an anger and hatred, as at least anger is a creative force ~ it elicits a response and it is from that disapproval that energies are focused and something productive or good can emerge. On the other hand, indifference elicits no response. "Indifference is not a beginning; it is an end. And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor -- never his victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten .."

How true this is. For the abandonment, the lack of response, the impact of indifference on a victim is further punishment. Roman historian, Tacitus, is claimed to have said, "Proprium humani ingenii est odisse, quem laeseris [Agricola]Translated it means that it is considered human nature to dislike a person that you have harmed or injured.

With this premise in mind, is it a result of a sense of shame for having violated an someone? Along these lines, it's theorised that one logical consequence of hurting another is to begin to despise the victim. And in order to defend against the intense disappointment in oneself for having hurt another innocent person, anger is directed outward and toward the victim once more. The passions and emotions that caused a person to commit an injury are turned to distaste for the victim in an effort to be absolved of responsibility for one's actions. Thus, the more intense the original passions and desires, the greater the dislike of the victim that results. And of course, the natural human reaction is to feel embarrassment.

I often wondered, could there be anything worse than knowing that someone, to whom you'd been a loyal caring friend, disliked you because you had been hurt by them ~ you'd been their victim? As Wiesel and Vinge have so eloquently stated, to be worse would be "to be forgotten; to be meaningless".

In December 2004, I had sent "Doug" an instant message that simply said "Silence can be deafening; and so piercing indifference can be". One full year later, right before Christmas 2005, despite having sent him a number of heartfelt emails, still no response.

I'd exercised the utmost respect for his situation despite his apparent lack of concern for mine. I offered forgiveness for the harm the ruse had caused me but wished I could find hope again for the future.
It was at this time that I wrote "Les Ouiseux d'une meme couleur" hoping he'd see my need for some answers, and hoping above all that the pain of having been deceived would not be magnified, as Weisel claims, by now being "forgotten and meaningless".

Monday, October 15, 2007

Domains of danger ~ Dirichlet tessellations

He was "Le jeune de Richelet", named after the town in Belgium where his ancestors had lived. Johann Lejeune Dirichlet's claim to mathematical fame was the formal defintion of a function. Tessellation, or "tiling", as it is sometimes referred, is the process of positioning various geometric shapes in a plane in a side-by-side fashion, but not overlapping. The cells of a spider's web, or the compartment of a honey comb, for example, can be rendered as tessellations. Mosaic tile-work uses the process of tessellation, in fact, the word "tessellation" is derived from the Latin "tessella", which means a little square of clay.

Although the concept of personal space suggests that a particular space belongs to one individual, it is limited directly by the number of individuals within a region. Logic would suggest that one individual's personal space ends where another's begins. These boundary functions can be diagrammed. Let's say a region is occupied by two individuals. The line, which divides the space that one occupies from that of another individual, creates each individual's respective personal space. As each individual moves, the line that divides the cell equally, moves respectively.

The regions that surround each cell are mathematically referred to as Voronoi diagrams, Dirichlet tessellations, or spatial calculations. Each area contains exactly one generating point and every point in a given area is closer to its generating point than to any other. Dirichlet tessellations representing regions of territorial animals, for example, would show that individuals at a greater distance removed from one individual will be less likely to interfere spatially unless there are no other individuals between that could contest the region. Thus, the areas of Dirichlet tessellations should coincide generally with the areas of territoriality or competition of the individuals. So, in ecology, for example, Voronoi diagrams or Dirichlet tessellations of a region can be made to determine the domain of danger.

By 2006, I'd identified my own domains of danger. In January, after the local trial court case was dismissed, the contact from DF and KMC resumed, like clockwork. Curiosity was likely the reason they resumed driving past my offices to look at the "for sale" sign that had been featured front and centre on the property for a period of 4 months. Up until this point, save for the brief period in August before our Motion for Reconsideration had been filed, they'd been limited by court process. Eager to preserve the personal space I had claimed, as they moved in closer, I moved away. I left the building when they finally had the gall to enter and masquerade as if they were interested in purchasing a cup of coffee.

The Henderson case, for unlawful practise that was scheduled in Altanta and for which I'd been subpoenaed to testify, culminated in sentencing. Once the sentence was satisfied and the "game" was up, I learned that Henderson liquidated his home and packed up his belongings to promptly relocate to Washington state to set-up "shop" there. Once the authorities had him under close scrutiny, I surmise he believed his space had been invaded upon and sought an area, where he could minimise the domain of danger from discovery
.

It would also come to my attention some time in January 2006, that perhaps "Doug" had done some Dirichlet tessaltions as well.... I'd learn this in a most indirect way....


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Trapped in Skinner's box

ecember 2005 and only two last items to address and the company wind-up would be finished. One was the removal of all proprietary information on the company server. I called in the tech support person that had assisted in both the new hardware and software installation a year or so ago. I instructed him to erase most and to preserve the company accounting and financial record files and transfer them to disk along with any personal files that were in my secure archive file on the LAN system. The project didn't amass to more than a couple of hours work, but when he returned with several disks, one labelled 'miscellaneous data files', it piqued my curiosity.

Indeed, the logs of my chats with "Doug" had been auto saved in a secure section of the server designed to save Corporate proprietary information, despite having disabled messenger's own archive feature at "Doug"'s instruction. Of course, I recall now, one instance when my computer crashed in the midst of a critical report shortly before the server was to be serviced and it left me days behind schedule. Presumably, tech had installed this software as a safeguard in the event of a future crisis.

Naturally, I had good recall of all that we'd shared in the many hundreds of hours chatting anyway, but to re-read them brought back very fond memories of a time, now nearly two years ago, when I had a companion and someone to talk with and who appeared to not only care for me, but wanted to be a part of my life. By comparison, my existence in late 2005, was achingly void of any pleasure, comfort or companionship and my self-esteem ebbing with "Doug"'s failure to reply to my emails.

It was while reviewing what amounted to several thousands of pages of chat sessions that I printed off the disk that I saw, without question, that my memory of the way the relationship developed had been quite accurate. I had not imagined or embellished Doug's attention.
It was patently clear from the chat transcripts that "Doug" had made most of the contact; it was he who initially claimed he was inexplicably drawn to me; he who had difficulty getting through a day without making contact; he who had stated the sexual fantasies he wished to explore with me and he who admitted to being emotionally attached. Not that I wasn't becoming emotionally attached as well mind you, but I was concerned that without a phone number and alternate means of contact, he, like all the rest had in my immediate sphere, could go "POOF" and disappear, even though he promised he would not.

Reading the epic text was both very comforting and painful. My eyes were misty for almost a week as I reviewed each and every session, recalling the range of topics we'd discussed and the ease of conversation. Reviewing some rather explicit ones, where he'd described the sexual impact my passionate words were having on him, were melancholic and sad. When he shared that I was a source of pleasure for him, was that his impression of me or was it all untrue? I'd been so sincere, but was he just playing with me? Learning that my marriage had been a scheme executed purposefully by my ex-husband had made me feel so insignificant as a person and now, what could I think of this repeated episode, by someone who claimed he was my friend? Had I been an inanimate object to my ex-husband and now, once again, simply a science experiment to Doug? These questions plagued me terribly.

I first mentioned Operant Conditioning in the entry called "
Let sleeping pups lie". It was almost correct. Actually, it wasn't dogs that "Doug" had trained but whales, whale pups perhaps. He had said that he could get a pup to do almost anything, through operant conditioning, by positive reinforcement with rewards or by negative punishment in raising a stick.

No doubt having having written a number of scientific papers on a new pod of whales that had been witnessed in British Columbia, where he'd done his undergraduate work, and then having served as a whale trainer in San Juans in the Pacific Northwest and , he'd be intimately familiar with the various forms of Operant Conditioning. As positive reinforcement rewards a behaviour by adding a pleasant reward, it inceases the likelihood that a desired behavior will reoccur simply due to the fact that the consequence of that behaviour was enjoyable. Likewise, with negative punishment, a pleasure or reward is removed or withheld until desired behaviour is exhibited. Both forms of Operant Conditioning.

Accordingly, in pursuit to demonstrate methods of conditioning, B. F. Skinner, a leader in behavioural research, designed a box so that he could control the environment for his research. Into that box, later referred to as Skinner's Box, a rat was placed and Skinner went on to show that a rat will press a lever, a learned behaviour, if he wants nourishment. Was I, indeed, trapped in Skinner's box?

Wishing to make sure that "Doug" felt comfortable knowing that I did not pose any threat to him, I mailed to his office the disk that the tech support had given to me of the chat records, along with a Christmas card and a genuinely caring and friendly letter explaining that I had discovered the files by accident. I hoped that he would recognise that although I had been the one so mislead, and severely damaged as a consequence, I'd never wish for him to feel vulnerable in any way and that there was no further need for any aposematic reactions in the future. I received confirmation that the package arrived just a few days before Christmas.
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul,
and yet no one ever comes to sit by it
~ Van Gogh