gony would best describe the following weeks. In one instant a seemingly loving marriage deteriorated into a stretch of long, numbing days; a reluctance to open the mail box for the inevitable folio of divorce papers he'd so kindly informed me would be arriving and even longer nights spent lying awake listening for the hum of a car motor as it turned into our driveway and approached the house.
DF, apparently, felt that his announcement meant that I now operated a boarding house, and one at no charge to patrons. The home we'd enjoyed was transformed into an over-sized receptacle for his clothes and personal possessions and of course me ~ his trophy. When he did bother to come home after a few days of absence to find the meal I had prepared sitting on the dining room table, he'd disregard it, whistle off into the guest bedroom and promptly close and LOCK the door. From behind the door I'd could hear him speak for hours on a new cell phone (compliments of his mistress) that had become a fixture to his belt or appended to his ear. On the brief occasions at home when our eyes did meet, mine would be misty and strained from holding back a burst of tear drops; his appeared only to reflect coldness and unwelcome. And if a tear should dare to emerge I'd be told in no uncertain terms, "You need to accept this. I'm divorcing you!" How could he not see that the sadness was acceptance of the end, despite my offer to work on the marriage and get beyond the affair?
We worked in the same building each day (different companies, but both operating out of the same terminus). The woman, KMC, that he'd taken to the Alps would come and drape herself over the counter, where he served, for hours at a time. They demonstrated no compunction for open display of their affection, laughter and whispers, evident not only to myself but to all of my employees. The constant flaunting and subsequent taunting of me was unbearable. I awakened the morning of my birthday to find him gone with not so much as an acknowledgment, the company he operated unattended and without coverage. Upon finding the business that way I slapped a sign on the door "Temporarily Closed due to Illness" with apologies for any inconvenience, rearranged my schedule so that I could tend to it and conduct my own work after hours. His return to my home several nights later involved the typical routine ~ ignore the meal prepared, enter the bedroom, lock the door and giggle on the phone for hours.
The strain of dealing with this and maintaining composure both at work and at home had caused me to lose a significant amount of weight. Almost 20 pounds dripped off in less than a month, I was drawn and waif-like. But this was just more fodder for the snickers and comments by DF and KMC as they cavorted in the work environment. My family grew increasingly more concerned at the affect on my health and urged me to do something about the situation. They worried that I could not keep up the pace and bury my emotions working in the public. It was the height of our tourist season and the terminus was buzzing with activity each day. Thousands of guests pass through our doors in the month of October and my position involves a lot of public exposure. In view of my weakened physical health I was forced to decline on-air appearances and had to assign others to handle some of the public promotional duties.
By the third week in October, after four weeks off the new "routine" and no divorce petition in the mail box, it was time to hang the "No vacancy" sign outside my home. And so, the very next time he failed to come home or call to say he wasn't coming home, with an aching heart and tear-stained face, I made the gut-wrenching decision that I would have to sever a limb to release myself from the clutch of the trap.
Pictures of the boys, his parents and siblings, the book he was reading, Swiss chocolate and Emmentaler cheese that we had on a weekly delivery from the local import supplier, some of his clothes and his toiletries ~ all placed carefully in corrugated boxes and taped shut. I drove to the local hardware store to purchase 2 new door sets and a deadbolt. The home has both a front door and an entrance from inside the garage, which we used on a daily basis. I stacked the containers neatly inside the garage in front of the interior door and attached an envelope containing a letter that informed him that we could not go on indefinitely living in this way and it was too much to endure for a month. I shared that I had packed up some of his immediate personal items, and would make sure the rest were delivered to him as soon as he had a new place. I closed the letter with a statement that the door would always be open to him should he wish to work on our marriage, but if not that he should find himself a new place to live and had tucked a check inside the envelope that would amply cover either a hotel room for a couple of weeks or the rental of an apartment for the next six months. I then changed the locks and lay awake listening for the quiet hum of a car motor as it turned into our driveway and approached the house...
"The intense pain inflicted on animals by traps sometimes causes them to chew off their own limbs in an attempt to escape the trap's clutches. If they do manage to free themselves, animals die of blood loss. The less fortunate ones will languish for days or even weeks subjected to thirst, hunger, exposure to extreme temperatures and attacks by predators."
DF, apparently, felt that his announcement meant that I now operated a boarding house, and one at no charge to patrons. The home we'd enjoyed was transformed into an over-sized receptacle for his clothes and personal possessions and of course me ~ his trophy. When he did bother to come home after a few days of absence to find the meal I had prepared sitting on the dining room table, he'd disregard it, whistle off into the guest bedroom and promptly close and LOCK the door. From behind the door I'd could hear him speak for hours on a new cell phone (compliments of his mistress) that had become a fixture to his belt or appended to his ear. On the brief occasions at home when our eyes did meet, mine would be misty and strained from holding back a burst of tear drops; his appeared only to reflect coldness and unwelcome. And if a tear should dare to emerge I'd be told in no uncertain terms, "You need to accept this. I'm divorcing you!" How could he not see that the sadness was acceptance of the end, despite my offer to work on the marriage and get beyond the affair?
We worked in the same building each day (different companies, but both operating out of the same terminus). The woman, KMC, that he'd taken to the Alps would come and drape herself over the counter, where he served, for hours at a time. They demonstrated no compunction for open display of their affection, laughter and whispers, evident not only to myself but to all of my employees. The constant flaunting and subsequent taunting of me was unbearable. I awakened the morning of my birthday to find him gone with not so much as an acknowledgment, the company he operated unattended and without coverage. Upon finding the business that way I slapped a sign on the door "Temporarily Closed due to Illness" with apologies for any inconvenience, rearranged my schedule so that I could tend to it and conduct my own work after hours. His return to my home several nights later involved the typical routine ~ ignore the meal prepared, enter the bedroom, lock the door and giggle on the phone for hours.
The strain of dealing with this and maintaining composure both at work and at home had caused me to lose a significant amount of weight. Almost 20 pounds dripped off in less than a month, I was drawn and waif-like. But this was just more fodder for the snickers and comments by DF and KMC as they cavorted in the work environment. My family grew increasingly more concerned at the affect on my health and urged me to do something about the situation. They worried that I could not keep up the pace and bury my emotions working in the public. It was the height of our tourist season and the terminus was buzzing with activity each day. Thousands of guests pass through our doors in the month of October and my position involves a lot of public exposure. In view of my weakened physical health I was forced to decline on-air appearances and had to assign others to handle some of the public promotional duties.
By the third week in October, after four weeks off the new "routine" and no divorce petition in the mail box, it was time to hang the "No vacancy" sign outside my home. And so, the very next time he failed to come home or call to say he wasn't coming home, with an aching heart and tear-stained face, I made the gut-wrenching decision that I would have to sever a limb to release myself from the clutch of the trap.
Pictures of the boys, his parents and siblings, the book he was reading, Swiss chocolate and Emmentaler cheese that we had on a weekly delivery from the local import supplier, some of his clothes and his toiletries ~ all placed carefully in corrugated boxes and taped shut. I drove to the local hardware store to purchase 2 new door sets and a deadbolt. The home has both a front door and an entrance from inside the garage, which we used on a daily basis. I stacked the containers neatly inside the garage in front of the interior door and attached an envelope containing a letter that informed him that we could not go on indefinitely living in this way and it was too much to endure for a month. I shared that I had packed up some of his immediate personal items, and would make sure the rest were delivered to him as soon as he had a new place. I closed the letter with a statement that the door would always be open to him should he wish to work on our marriage, but if not that he should find himself a new place to live and had tucked a check inside the envelope that would amply cover either a hotel room for a couple of weeks or the rental of an apartment for the next six months. I then changed the locks and lay awake listening for the quiet hum of a car motor as it turned into our driveway and approached the house...
"The intense pain inflicted on animals by traps sometimes causes them to chew off their own limbs in an attempt to escape the trap's clutches. If they do manage to free themselves, animals die of blood loss. The less fortunate ones will languish for days or even weeks subjected to thirst, hunger, exposure to extreme temperatures and attacks by predators."
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