Typically, a spider will only traverse the web when rebuilding it to snare more unwitting visitors, or while hunting for newly-alighted prey. Once the cocoon of silk is fabricated and wrapped around the immobilised prey, the spider carefully attaches the shroud to the web to save it for later supping. Such was the case with DF and KMC. DF's Absence of 5 to 6 months did not signal an end to the waves of attack or approaches to feast on the spoils of their victory.
Court mandated mediation was scheduled in late January for the divorce action. I approached mediation willing to halve everything to reach settlement and move forward with my life. He was resolute that he had not yet gained what he felt he deserved. DF's demeanour in the mediation was cold and heartless so the attorneys determined that it was in my best emotional interest to abandon further attempts to arrive at a settlement.
Calls to my home and cell phone had continued from both of them in January, demanding that they have immediate access to the P & L statements from both entities. They also tried to suggest that DF and I should file a joint tax return for 2003 and, consequently, I was to ready the financial information and share it with DF as soon as possible. I refused, claiming that I would be filing my tax return as married but separate. That didn't go over well. Information from the jointly-owned business was proprietary and he was actively engaged in establishing a competing operation and there was no guarantee that KMC would not have access to the financials. I agreed to prepare year-end figures in advance of the April 15, 2004 deadline and send him a final income figure to use on his personal tax filing.
Then came another round of artillery. There were constant demands to turn over a sterling silver bowl that was still in my home and had been purchased with marital funds. It had been used as a bargaining chip when I had demanded return of my birth certificate earlier. DF would say, "you give me the bowl, I'll look for your birth certificate". Of course, when I registered speculation as to why they were not willing to return my personal identification, and that I was concerned that they were both idiotic enough to even contemplate impersonating me at any immigration interview, it miraculously reappeared. It wasn't such a far-fetched idea, really. KMC and I are approximately the same height and both have blond hair, although that's where the physical and personality comparisons end, but she was happy to declare that she had combed and thoroughly researched my past and the more than 200 letters I had sent to DF during our courtship.
One such call began with a request for something or other that DF "wanted" from the marital home, but was quickly detoured by me to resolve an issue with auto insurance. At the beginning of 2004, some 6 months after DF vanished, I received a statement from my auto insurance agent showing his new Jeep Liberty as a second vehicle for the household and billed to my policy. He had used the proceeds from the sale of my truck to buy this vehicle and had already exited the marriage before he purchased it. I was furious that he would surreptitiously crag it on to my policy, charging me with the cost to insure it. I demanded it be removed only to hear from KMC that "He didn't have to do anything I asked", and passed the phone to her daughter, who giggled. I waited, patiently, without speaking until she tired and hung up the phone, not wishing to be the one to involve her in any way. A call to the agent some weeks later revealed that he had not complied and that KMC had called on the agent to apply further pressure on them to keep his vehicle on my policy. The agent knew I wanted it off the policy and had asked his cooperation only to hear him steadfastly refuse to remove it. Eventually, I had to request that the entire policy be cancelled in 48 hours, and instruct the agent to inform him directly that he would need to secure a membership of his own, and alternate coverage, within 2 days, or else he would be uninsured.
During another of these phone calls made to intimidate me, I learned that upon DF's return to the USA after a vacation spent with KMC in Switzerland in January 2004, boarding agents in France refused to permit him to board the plane. Apparently, they had left the country with an expired GC with no accompanying NOA extending the validity of his card. It involved a trip to the consulate in Paris to be able to re-enter the country. This precipitated accusations that I had failed to forward USCIS mail to his new address. "What?" I exclaimed. I had no new address for DF, if you recall, KMC had refused to offer it. Mind you, I'd always suspected that the claim he had an "apartment" was a ruse and that he'd been living with KMC since he left. Nevertheless, what became of the instructions that I had emailed to KMC describing that he would have to file not only an AR-11, but also follow up with the local office and the 1-800 number to make sure his new address had been noted? She had confirmed that this had been done back in July 2003. And DF had supposedly placed a change of address order with the postal office. How could he not have received correspondence from USCIS?
In retrospect, I know now that the accusations were a way to find out the disposition of the jointly filed I-751 form. I also suspect that he might not have changed his address with USCIS at all, and simply relied upon forwarding services from the post office. Bear in mind the checks for his new bank account, that were issued the year prior still showed the marital home address on them. I would receive confirmation of the failure to disclose his current address, from the source, the following year....
Court mandated mediation was scheduled in late January for the divorce action. I approached mediation willing to halve everything to reach settlement and move forward with my life. He was resolute that he had not yet gained what he felt he deserved. DF's demeanour in the mediation was cold and heartless so the attorneys determined that it was in my best emotional interest to abandon further attempts to arrive at a settlement.
Calls to my home and cell phone had continued from both of them in January, demanding that they have immediate access to the P & L statements from both entities. They also tried to suggest that DF and I should file a joint tax return for 2003 and, consequently, I was to ready the financial information and share it with DF as soon as possible. I refused, claiming that I would be filing my tax return as married but separate. That didn't go over well. Information from the jointly-owned business was proprietary and he was actively engaged in establishing a competing operation and there was no guarantee that KMC would not have access to the financials. I agreed to prepare year-end figures in advance of the April 15, 2004 deadline and send him a final income figure to use on his personal tax filing.
Then came another round of artillery. There were constant demands to turn over a sterling silver bowl that was still in my home and had been purchased with marital funds. It had been used as a bargaining chip when I had demanded return of my birth certificate earlier. DF would say, "you give me the bowl, I'll look for your birth certificate". Of course, when I registered speculation as to why they were not willing to return my personal identification, and that I was concerned that they were both idiotic enough to even contemplate impersonating me at any immigration interview, it miraculously reappeared. It wasn't such a far-fetched idea, really. KMC and I are approximately the same height and both have blond hair, although that's where the physical and personality comparisons end, but she was happy to declare that she had combed and thoroughly researched my past and the more than 200 letters I had sent to DF during our courtship.
One such call began with a request for something or other that DF "wanted" from the marital home, but was quickly detoured by me to resolve an issue with auto insurance. At the beginning of 2004, some 6 months after DF vanished, I received a statement from my auto insurance agent showing his new Jeep Liberty as a second vehicle for the household and billed to my policy. He had used the proceeds from the sale of my truck to buy this vehicle and had already exited the marriage before he purchased it. I was furious that he would surreptitiously crag it on to my policy, charging me with the cost to insure it. I demanded it be removed only to hear from KMC that "He didn't have to do anything I asked", and passed the phone to her daughter, who giggled. I waited, patiently, without speaking until she tired and hung up the phone, not wishing to be the one to involve her in any way. A call to the agent some weeks later revealed that he had not complied and that KMC had called on the agent to apply further pressure on them to keep his vehicle on my policy. The agent knew I wanted it off the policy and had asked his cooperation only to hear him steadfastly refuse to remove it. Eventually, I had to request that the entire policy be cancelled in 48 hours, and instruct the agent to inform him directly that he would need to secure a membership of his own, and alternate coverage, within 2 days, or else he would be uninsured.
During another of these phone calls made to intimidate me, I learned that upon DF's return to the USA after a vacation spent with KMC in Switzerland in January 2004, boarding agents in France refused to permit him to board the plane. Apparently, they had left the country with an expired GC with no accompanying NOA extending the validity of his card. It involved a trip to the consulate in Paris to be able to re-enter the country. This precipitated accusations that I had failed to forward USCIS mail to his new address. "What?" I exclaimed. I had no new address for DF, if you recall, KMC had refused to offer it. Mind you, I'd always suspected that the claim he had an "apartment" was a ruse and that he'd been living with KMC since he left. Nevertheless, what became of the instructions that I had emailed to KMC describing that he would have to file not only an AR-11, but also follow up with the local office and the 1-800 number to make sure his new address had been noted? She had confirmed that this had been done back in July 2003. And DF had supposedly placed a change of address order with the postal office. How could he not have received correspondence from USCIS?
In retrospect, I know now that the accusations were a way to find out the disposition of the jointly filed I-751 form. I also suspect that he might not have changed his address with USCIS at all, and simply relied upon forwarding services from the post office. Bear in mind the checks for his new bank account, that were issued the year prior still showed the marital home address on them. I would receive confirmation of the failure to disclose his current address, from the source, the following year....
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