By the second week of January 2004, hearing from Irri had become a daily routine. Like clockwork, every morning I'd arrive to find an offline message he drafted in the middle of the night, to let me know he was thinking of me. Upon returning his message, we'd begin a chat session that would evolve into day long communication. We'd keep the screens open while working on our respective tasks, popping in every now and then each hour with one quip or another. It was not uncommon for us to continue chatting until the wee hours of the following morning.
Discussions ran the gamut from activities on ILW to my work, his work, linguistics, microbiology, ideals, personal goals, history. I was delighted to be developing a rapport with someone that expressed a desire to offer companionship, comfort and that could participate in intellectual exchange that was both mirthful and challenging. Conversations were effortless like the fingers of a concert pianist floating across the keys of a baby grand.
We learned very quickly that we had much in common on many planes, both being professionals and stewards of companies; both putting in a lot of time at the office and focusing on a career path; both having significant responsibilities and yet being required to take calculated risks. He was an American citizen; I also (through naturalisation); he was unmarried and currently unattached due to his career demands and extensive travelling that had placed strains on long term relationships in the past. He was 42, just 7 years younger than I, and the same age as my soon-to-be ex-husband. And since we'd exchanged photographs prior to first meeting in the ILW chat room ~ very handsome. He was witty, articulate and learned, having completed his PhD before taking over his father's well-established nationwide company, yet still finding time to provide lab supervision at a Florida educational institution. We shared many similar personality traits. Deeply passionate about ideals yet aggressive in the business environment; caring; sensitive and warm.
I'd been accustomed to calling him Irri on the ILW board and so when we chatted I continued to do so. At the outset of our private communication, he asked that I not refer to him as Irri, since it reminded him of when he had been insensitive towards me on the newsgroup. From this point onwards I'll refer to him by his name, CMR.
I looked forward to our contact. It had the same effect on my bleak circumstances as rays of sunshine on dendrite, rime frost. Days melted into nights; nights into early mornings. Time seemed to fly and before we knew it we'd spent 10-14 hours a day getting to know each other. The sense of extreme loneliness disappeared. He was always there, demonstrating his concern for my well-being and extending warmth and friendship. He called himself my "guardian angel", keen to make sure that I knew I was never alone again and I would always know that someone cared about me. In view of all that I'd gone through, to have a friend, someone that was looking out for me in a world that seemed to treat me as if I did not exist, was precious to me.
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