Neuro-toxins

irect contact, that is. Prior to her supplying a new cell to DF there'd been countless hang up calls at both office and home at times when he and I were together. Her vehicle became a constant feature on our street and cruising the parking yard of my office complex. Other strange things were happening within the ranks of my company, too. (The specifics would come to light a little later on).

Plans for our vacation that month were abruptly changed by DF, announcing that he wanted to visit the boys, alone, since he wouldn't be eligible for vacation time once he changed jobs, and held me responsible for that! In fact that same justification was used to reinforce his position and make even more demands. DF's standard comment was "If you really wanted this marriage to work, as I do, you'd not think twice about these requests". Any hesitation on my part to immediately comply and the why are you so "suspicious" and "lacking of trust" cards were played constantly.

That's when reinforcements began on her end. She had no compunction to call me and reinforce his position and question what my real motives were not to conform, all the while reaffirming that she and DF were simply friends and that I should be ashamed of myself for being the slightest bit suspicious. I'd not registered any suspicion, but I was more subdued, absorbing data and attempting to process it without the benefit of any type of sounding board, or neutral party with whom to confer. My head was spinning. Pressure was coming from both sides like incessant incoming artillery and I'd seen things that didn't make sense and yet, if I registered any doubt, I was quickly reproached and accused of not being able to forgive and reconcile, as I'd said I would.

DF would require a sizable sum of cash for his vacation, intent on making up for the trip the year prior when he had not seen the boys. It seemed to me that he was going through money like water and I queried when he would be paid for the contract he'd been working on for KMC since February. Once more, she rang in to confirm that her business would not have the ability to begin reimbursement until mid-summer after their grand opening and went through the list of DF's requirements to enquire if all had been accomplished. Astonished I politely told her to please stay out of our financial affairs and I didn't wish to hear from her again. Shortly thereafter I received an email from DF telling me to "drop my war with KMC" otherwise there'd be trouble. I wasn't warring with anyone, but I certainly did not approve of a third party telling me what to do with my marriage or our resources. From that point forward, "war" would become yet a common retort, added to the growing list.

DF was to fly out the third week in April. Refinancing the house would occur upon his return in middle May, naming us both obligors to the mortgage and withdrawing a significant amount of equity from the home that would purportedly be placed in our money market account so that he could begin preparation on the gym venue after he returned. Yes, he'd apparently decided this would be a go. None of it made sound economic sense to me, but once again, apprehension on my part was perceived as behaviour fitting of someone who was "controlling and suspicious" and contributing to further marriage breakdown. The agreements placing his name on the remaining assets that he wished for me to compose were presented to me, along with form I-751 to complete before his departure.

I asked for more time and registered that I'd seen things that I didn't think were indicative of a prevailing marriage (I'd also discovered a leak of vital information within my company, and was in the process of trying to find out who it was) but that didn't go over well with DF, and the artillery from KMC resumed in the form of messages left on my voice mail, advising me that his position within her company would be at jeopardy if she did not see evidence of his permanent residency prior to June 1. Although I was somewhat familiar with immigration procedures that we'd already encountered, I wasn't aware of any immigration requirement like that, but then I'd not really looked into it either. Under duress, I signed the petition the day prior to DF leaving for his trip.