Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?

nlike the last trip, DF did keep in touch with me while he was in Europe. During one call, I'd mentioned something about the phone calls I was receiving from KMC, and he reiterated that they were simply business partners and that was all. I distinctly remember him saying to me "You're my wife. I want no other woman, nor do I need anyone else; I came back for you and I want to repair our marriage so please leave her out of it" and I agreed that I would not speak of her again, but reminded him that once trust was breached it required two to restore it and I thought I had been doing more than my part in that regard.

Before flying out he had left an outline of the agreements he'd wished for me to compose, transferring assets that were in my name alone, into our joint names, and asked how they were coming along. I told him that I felt it was out of my realm to draft legal documents, and that I would consult my attorney the following week to have her review them, but he was not pleased with that idea. "We've spent already a lot of money on lawyers and I don't want us to spend anymore! Whatever you draft will be OK" he advised. He was right in one respect. The aborted divorce petition had cost a fair amount of money (his portion less than my answer because KMC had some sort of 'special arrangement' with the attorney that represented him.

But I felt ill-at-ease and needed advice and so I tried to call my family, hoping to get some feedback or support. I hadn't spoken with any of my family for more than a minute or two since late January and although I'd made many attempts to mend the bridge, most had been unsuccessful. This was no exception and as soon as they heard that DF had required this they became angered and hung up the phone. I called back but the phone had been taken off the hook and remained that way for hours. I knew I was all alone.

In the days following DF's return from Switzerland I was juggling conversations with the bank and title company to ready for the closing and reviewing candidates to assume his position in the jointly owned business. A couple of days before the closing he called me to inform me that he had spoken with the mortgage officer and he would not be an obligor on the note, as previously arranged although he agreed to contribute to the payments. (Up to this point in our marriage, DF had contributed none of his earnings to the marriage. I had paid all of the bills). I was glad that he was now going to take more responsibility for underwriting our day-to-day living costs, for obvious reasons, but also because I felt it would make him think more about how he had frittered away in the past. However a sudden change in plans like this was an aggravation; we were set to close on the Friday afternoon and now he wanted me to call and change everything! He insisted, citing the lack of co-operation by my family and my sister's insisting that he leave our business and seek employment elsewhere as the grounds for his decision. Again, laying the blame at my feet, in so many words.

Removing so much equity from my home in this refinance for the purposes of having a large sum of money 'available' should DF wish to start another business and retire some debts was not a sound fiscal move and would change the rate of interest from 4.875 to 8.99 and I wasn't in support of that at all, in fact, it had increased the mortgage payment by 100% but he was resolute. "I don't want to feel at all indebted to your family and I want us to both feel financially independent, you know, have some money to fall back on and I don't know how soon it will be that I will be paid by KMC. It's a brand new operation and you know how that goes", he said.

The notary arrived at 2:00pm on Friday will all the papers. One of my employees escorted her into the lower level conference room just as DF arrived. Since the broker was located in a town 145 miles from here, the closing would be handled by the notary and the cash out check would be mailed. We were apprised that the check may take up to 20 days to arrive. Sitting in the conference room, the notary presented us both with a packet and left to make a phone call, quickly. I had a lump in my throat as I looked at the estimated monthly payment and looked at DF in the eyes and said "Since plans changed immediately prior to this closing, you are going to honour your word and help with the mortgage aren't you?". With that, he looked directly into my eyes and replied, "What kind of a man do you think I am?"

Deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? - Sweetheart, would I lie to you?