"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions"

"If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"
The Merchant of Venice ~ Shakespeare

Vengeance ~ a normal, primal human reaction to feel entitled to retaliate against a person in response to an act of wrongdoing. In my opinion, what's critical here are the words "to feel entitled". Entitlement symbolises a right; yes, a right to be revengeful, ethically. The issue is that how one acts upon that right can be either constructive or destructive. Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy, psychiatrist and humanist developed the concept of "destructive entitlement." It refers to the ethical and psychological dynamics of relationships. Feeling entitled and being entitled are quite distinct and in many intimate relationships, the motivation for revenge is actually driven by a deep sense of justice and a deep loyalty to those who cared about us but injured us. Destructive entitlement is acting upon a sense of entitlement.

In Hamlet, a well-known drama of vows to carry out revenge for the death of his father. One issue that has subjected Hamlet to a range of interpretation is why does Hamlet deliberate so long before exacting his revenge? In fact, it takes Hamlet months before the deed is carried out. Perhaps Hamlet too, during this time, was sensitive to both the ethical and psychological implications and the difference between feelings of entitlement and acting upon that entitlement.

Gandhi once stated, "If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless".

In July 2003, I joined ILW, anxious to find answers to the immigration issue related to this act of deception by DF. I had nowhere to turn; no sounding board; noone to turn to for answers. At the outset many members questioned my motivations; many were critical of the volume of questions I posed; many would later come to the conclusion that I am simply a bitter US citizen looking for direction on how to exact revenge against an alien.

One thing that people that have not been deeply deceived fail to recognise is that a victim goes through a range of reactions before coming to closure. The first reactions are not of vengeance, but of shock. A victim, vulnerable and fragile, with few resources, I began to post on ILW. I embarked on a journey, from an act of deliberation, deceit and divorce. I expected the road to be long and arduous at times. What I did not expect was yet to come.....

When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions".~ Hamlet, Shakespeare