I was wrong; clearly wrong. At the time I didn't realise it, or, perhaps, it was that I didn't wish to readily admit it. Uncertainty can create tensions, where tensions don't belong. And that gives rise to pointing a finger at someone who is not at fault, to try to make sense out of nonsense.
Such was the case with the online acquaintance I'd developed with a member of the Famous Five, "Dick". After his lengthy chat with Doug, things had seemed to go horribly awry between us and although the following days showed our online chatting to return to its normal mode, I couldn't help but think the reason for the temporary hiccup might have been due to something discussed that night. Then there was the knowledge that I had been accused of having some sort of mental disorder, which was clearly not the case. I could understand speculation that could have ensued surrounding the choice of my moniker, swissnut, used on the ILW news group. Needless to say, I thought that from the very beginning I'd shared with the clan that it was not used to denote that *I* was crazy about Swiss people, but had been DF's eBay bidding name and corresponding Yahoo email address that he'd abandoned when surreptitiously communicating with KMC. I'd used it to register on ILW after DF disappeared in mid year 2003. Regardless, it was possible that this explanation had been dismissed by "Dick", and other notions considered, since he had a propensity for thinking he was qualified to come to pyschological conclusions about others, citing his practice sufficient to prepare him to do so.
Such was the case with the online acquaintance I'd developed with a member of the Famous Five, "Dick". After his lengthy chat with Doug, things had seemed to go horribly awry between us and although the following days showed our online chatting to return to its normal mode, I couldn't help but think the reason for the temporary hiccup might have been due to something discussed that night. Then there was the knowledge that I had been accused of having some sort of mental disorder, which was clearly not the case. I could understand speculation that could have ensued surrounding the choice of my moniker, swissnut, used on the ILW news group. Needless to say, I thought that from the very beginning I'd shared with the clan that it was not used to denote that *I* was crazy about Swiss people, but had been DF's eBay bidding name and corresponding Yahoo email address that he'd abandoned when surreptitiously communicating with KMC. I'd used it to register on ILW after DF disappeared in mid year 2003. Regardless, it was possible that this explanation had been dismissed by "Dick", and other notions considered, since he had a propensity for thinking he was qualified to come to pyschological conclusions about others, citing his practice sufficient to prepare him to do so.
Nonetheless, I mistakenly thought "Dick" was responsible for planting such a crazy notion in Doug's head. From that point forth, there was a flurry of emails exchanged between "Dick" and me that were admittedly inappropriate, in retrospect, but nonetheless necessary at the time to try to patch up any doubts that had been created in Doug with respect to my loyalty as a friend.
It had come to my knowledge that Doug sensed I was representing trust and loyalty directly to him, but stating to others in the group that I doubted he was genuine. This was not at all true. Doug had asked me trust and to bear with him as he was very guarded about his personal life and privacy, due to past experiences. I understood all of that and was prepared to move slowly and at a pace that was completely comfortable for him. During discussions about the imposter on ILW, when "Dick" had said he suspected our own "Julian" to be the imposter, I had simply said that if that were at all possible then what would that say about the friendship that had developed between Doug and me, and it would devastate me to learn that I had been mislead again.
Somehow my words were either convoluted during a third party conversation about the matter, or I had not expressed myself clearly. Either way, I was of the opinion that "Dick" was at the root of the upheaval. My interest was to protect an online friendship with Doug that meant a great deal to me, but it was wrong of me to doubt another without clear evidence that he was responsible. During the next few weeks, I tried to clear up the misunderstanding and make amends with "Dick". I'm not sure if I was successful with my apologies, but I soon recognised my error and that it was necessary to remember the adage,
Do unto others as you'd wish they should do unto you
It had come to my knowledge that Doug sensed I was representing trust and loyalty directly to him, but stating to others in the group that I doubted he was genuine. This was not at all true. Doug had asked me trust and to bear with him as he was very guarded about his personal life and privacy, due to past experiences. I understood all of that and was prepared to move slowly and at a pace that was completely comfortable for him. During discussions about the imposter on ILW, when "Dick" had said he suspected our own "Julian" to be the imposter, I had simply said that if that were at all possible then what would that say about the friendship that had developed between Doug and me, and it would devastate me to learn that I had been mislead again.
Somehow my words were either convoluted during a third party conversation about the matter, or I had not expressed myself clearly. Either way, I was of the opinion that "Dick" was at the root of the upheaval. My interest was to protect an online friendship with Doug that meant a great deal to me, but it was wrong of me to doubt another without clear evidence that he was responsible. During the next few weeks, I tried to clear up the misunderstanding and make amends with "Dick". I'm not sure if I was successful with my apologies, but I soon recognised my error and that it was necessary to remember the adage,
Do unto others as you'd wish they should do unto you
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